I’m a very unpaid intern living in “the city that never sleeps,” but that's only because it’s too hot in my apartment with no air conditioning and the people who live above me are either constantly moving furniture or having the strangest sex I’ve ever heard. 

I've burned holes in and broken the only nice pair of shoes I’ve ever bought myself and ruined my office appropriate shirts by sweating in/spilling coffee on them. I've also accepted that I will never look "office chic."

I've learned how to bob and weave on sidewalks and avenues while simultaneously listening to music, applying makeup, holding coffee, and shooting glares at anyone in my way. Thank god for resting bitch face because otherwise I might have to actually ask people to move or god forbid say "excuse me."

Everyone in my area is beautiful and hip and the worst part is I'll see them once and then never again. So say farewell to all of those imaginary dates I’ve just planned for us before I convince you to move back to LA with me and get married and raise our three blonde surfer kids who AREN’T vegan or gluten free or lame and then retire and live in Ventura to own an antique store and make friends with drifters.  

The only immediately familiar thing in my neighborhood is the taco truck parked conveniently outside the Morgan L stop. $3 tacos feel a little bit more like home but the other day someone asked for cheese, lettuce and tomato with no salsa and I almost cried. 

Finally, I have zero money left. Really. That’s that. 

I’m angsty and restless and I miss Californiagoddamnit. 

Let me take you (mostly me) to a nicer, drier, friendlier, beachier, hillier, taco-ier, better mindset in the land of dreamers and wanderers. A better place to be restless. 

Put this on and imagine you’re driving really fast with nowhere to go. Because even if you have no destination and no plan, at least you're in California and not looking at someones plumber's butt while they try to rearrange shopping bags and end up knocking over the tiny old woman next to them in the hottest subway in New York City, like I am right now.