MEET A PREFROSH

PATRICIA MERLINO '18

KIRA - NEW YORK - UNDECIDED 

Method: Did you post a bio on WesAdmits?

Kira: No.

Method: Why?

Kira: I’ve honestly never heard of that before.

Method: Spell “kombucha.”

Kira: Oh, God… “q-u-a-m-b-a-c-h-a.” Right?

Method: Right. And define it.

Kira: I have no idea.

Method: Do you think that Roth is doing enough to stop squirrel vagrancy?

Kira: That’s a good question. My heart is with Roth, honestly. Squirrel vagrancy is a real problem.

LEXI - MADISON, WI - APPLIED ED

Method: Did you post a bio on WesAdmits?

Lexi: Yes.

Method: Why?

Lexi: Because everyone else was doing it. Also one of my friends posted. And then I thought I should introduce myself because why not?

Method: Spell “Weshop.”

Lexi: Fuck, uh… “w-e-s-h-o-p.” Is that right?

Method: It actually is. Most people here don’t even get that right….Thoughts on the recent coeducation of Usdan?

Lexi: I don’t even know what that is.

Method: And what is why?

Lexi: It’s very pretty here. 

AARON - PHILADELPHIA, PA - UNDECIDED

Method: Did you post a bio on WesAdmits?

Aaron: No.

Method: Why not?

Aaron: They all seemed kind of weird.

Method: Thoughts on mandatory church attendance?

Aaron: Are these questions real?

Method: Thoughts on keeping your socks on during intercourse?

Aaron: What?

Method: What is WeScam?

Aaron: No idea. Do you actually care about any of these answers?

AARON - ATLANTA, GA - UNDECIDED

Method: Do you remember having biology with me in high school?

Aaron: Yeah, I remember. It was a lot of fun.

Method: Thoughts on the Yik Yak class taught by Roth?

Aaron: I don’t know what that is.

Method: What year was Wesleyan founded?

Aaron: A long time ago.

Method: How many square feet is the Wesleyan campus?

Aaron: Very large.

Method: Define first, second, and third base.

Aaron: I don’t want to answer that question.

Method: Did you go to Boss Hill yet?

Aaron: No, not yet.

Method: Do you think I’m pretty?

Aaron: Sure.