WORDS & IMAGES: NICK BYERS ('19) & BETH TOWNSEND ('19)
Welcome back to Project #FindNewFriends, where we interview first-years who have just started to make their mark on campus. Meet Tarah. Queen of the Butts.
Method: What was the best moment of your summer?
Tarah: The best moment of my summer? What did I even do this summer? Oh! my best friend and I did shrooms at the New York City Pride Parade. [...] It was weird.
Method: That must’ve been a very colorful experience.
Tarah: Yeah no one cared. It would’ve been colorful and weird regardless, but it was even more colorful and weird because we were on shrooms...
Method: That's beautiful. Changing gears a little, what are you most passionate about? What gets you up in the morning and just makes you think, "I’m gonna live today"?
Tarah: Dance and comedy.
Method: What kind of dance do you do?
Tarah: Well I’m mainly a hip-hop//contemporary dancer-- but I’ve done everything. And comedy because I wanna be a comedy writer.
Method: What have you gotten involved with on campus?
Tarah: I’m in three dance groups. I’m in punchline, the stand-up comedy collective, the winter dance production of the Nutcracker. Also, me, Jordan [Roe ‘19], and Isaac [Gotterer ‘19], wrote a web series that we have yet to film.
Method: Is there a tentative film/release date on this web series?
Tarah: Yeah, we just released promos.
Method: Oh wow
Method: So, are you thinking of majoring in Dance?
Tarah: Yeah probably double majoring in Dance and AFAM.
Method: You went to boarding school right?
Tarah: Ha. Yes, unfortunately.
Method: Deerfield Academy?
Tarah: *gag noises*
Method: What was that like?
Tarah: Oh God. Um. It’s funny because everyone knows how much I hated it. [...] It was...horrendous but at the same time great. Horrendous because racism. Great because some of my best friends...people I found through thinking "oh my god this sucks." Like boarding school is just going to be so much shittier if you are a minority because it’s like such a culture and like microcosm of like “WASPs” (White Anglo-Saxon Protestants) like Deerfield was the epitome of WASP culture dealing with stuff like New Money and Old Money, like that’s still a fucking debate for some reason. [...] I’m grateful, but it was still fucking disgusting.
Method: What is your ideal destination to take your significant other to? Like a dream place you know, like not to Krust or something...
Tarah: Trying not to be super cliche...um...well I’ve always wanted to go skydiving, specifically in Dubai because they have a really cool center for it.
Method: Oh my gosh, you’ve really investigated this.
Tarah: Yes, exactly, this is something I’m going to do.
Method: And now that you’re 18…
Tarah: Yeah of course, I’m a free woman now. So I guess my significant other, knowing me, would have to be able to handle a lot so they’d have to come with me. Like they would have to.
Method: Describe your reaction to college thus far in three words
Tarah: Exciting. Trippy. Fuckery.
Method: If you were to take Michael Roth on a date on campus where would you take him?
Tarah: Considering I didn’t know who Michael Roth was….okay….so I didn’t know who Michael Roth was until like two weeks into school. I would just kinda pretend to laugh at all the jokes. Considering what I’ve heard about him, I guess he would want something super hype like something super fast paced...maybe a comedy show or something?
Method: He does have a sense of humor.
Tarah: Yeah I heard he’s pretty weird
Method: I’m sure he would get up on stage.
Tarah: Yeah I feel like it would be an open mic situation. Like it would be amateur night and he’d do a little stand up.
Method: And you’d laugh...?
Tarah: Yeah, like this-- “hahaha you’re funny……….don’t quit your day job."
Method: Beyonce or Rihanna?
Tarah: Beyonce. wait no fuck--wait yeah--Beyonce. I like love them both, but Beyonce. Like who is she? Not a real person.
Method: So tell us. How is your roomie situation?
Tarah: Um...BOMB. And it’s funny because Ali [Dawes ‘19] and I didn’t know each other and we’re both from New York. The room is sick because we have a triple but it’s only the two of us.
Method: It’s midnight on a Saturday, you’re slightly intoxicated, and you can't find your friends. What do you do?
Tarah: The actual answer is probably go back to my room, smoke, and watch the office. I don’t ever feel the need to be out. But if I was out, I’d probably just end up talking to people.
Method: When does the weekend start for YOU?
Tarah: Ummmmmmmm Saturday at ten *laughs* some people are like "OH it’s wednesday, it’s bar night!!!!" and I’m like nope never about it. I’m never, ever about it. Like even this weekend it was Friday and I went to Spelling Bee and I was like ‘I’m gonna smoke and sleep’ and that’s what I did.
Method: What is your Tinder bio?
Tarah: Mmmm...let me check
Tarah: OH wait it used to be...do you remember the viral video, "Climbin’ in your window, snatching yo’ people up"? I used to have a Harry Potter version of that as my Tindr bio because I fucking just loved it-- but I did just change it, so let me see. *views profile*. Right- it's just "Wesleyan” If I’m swiping here I don’t want people to think I go to Trinity.
Method: Drugs, pugs, or hugs?
Tarah: Um well I hate bodily contact. The best answer is probably pugs.
Method: I guess that is some reasonable logic
Method: Coolest non-bullshit thing you’ve learned in class?
Tarah: I spent my junior year of High School in Spain and my political science professor was a crazy man, he looked like a mad scientist. The way he conducted class was significant to me, the idea that whatever you put in you, you would get out. I really appreciated his candor and class. He was no bullshit.
Method: Learning to say what you wanna say...
Tarah: Yeah like learning to speak with a purpose.
Method: We could all learn that lesson here...
Method: Most awe inspiring place you’ve been? Whether it’s Spain or Usdan.
Tarah: Oh Usdan...the quiet side. Oh yes.
Method: There is a certain beauty to the quiet side of Usdan.
Tarah: Oh! I went on an independent travel during the New Year while I was in Spain so I went to Barcelona with a couple of friends for a week and a half. There is this huge firework show in the middle of the city and it was super sick. Other than that though probably this white sand beach at Martha’s Vineyard that has the most beautiful sunsets ever.
Method: Dream co-host for SNL?.. Even though they don’t do co-hosts....maybe like a Jimmy Fallon/Justin Timberlake kinda thing.
Tarah: And it can be anyone?
Tarah: Amy Schumer and Ron Swanson.
Tarah: Wait no fuck that. Stanley Hudson from the Office and Ron Swanson.
Method: Stanley would go for the dead pan. And so would Ron Swanson.
Method: What does fall smell like?
Tarah: *Laughs* Probably just 'change'.
Method: Alright this is our last question.
Tarah: Aw, that’s sad.
Method: Are you opposed to polyamorous relationships? A.K.A. would you go on a date with us?
Tarah: Uh yeah. I’m intrigued by you two. Yes.