Words: Alice Goldberg & Jordan White
Photos: Betty McGhee
#PROJECTFINDNEWFRIENDS is back and ready to go. Staff writers Alice and Jordan will be talking to new faces on campus, introducing Method to a new Frosh every week. Meet Julian.
Where are you from?
How long have you lived in Texas?
When I exited my mother’s vagina.
If you were a pasta shape, what would you be?
I’m the type of pasta that people buy, but never end up using because they’re too complicated; I just stay on the shelve, but once you eat me, life is complete [you can use that quote for pasta or sex].
What do you miss most about Texas?
Definitely not the weather. The weather is horrible. I sweat through two different outfits a day. I miss the food. Food is fucking amazing. I miss making fun of the people who live there. Honestly, Texans are the funniest people, but they just don’t know it.
How can one have a good weekend at Wesleyan?
Step 1 : make legit friends
Step 2 : get a little frisky
Step 3 : follow your mood, may it be a concert, someone’s room, or late night.
If you had 20,000 jelly beans stuck in a plane, how would you get them out?
I would fly the plane to the most impoverished country, then open the doors.
What did you do last night?
I had a slumber party with Wesley and my friend Eliza from Austin, she had to catch a plane at 4:20 so we just stayed up all night and talked about our lives and wrote a play about chapstick.
I got really sloppy. I got written up, and then after that, i figured I should chill. Went to art house, metal music is fucking amazing when you’re vibin. Then came back to my room, my roommate wasn’t there but 15 random people where there...
What’s the weirdest thing you brought from home?
Over the summer I was into this whole "minimalist movement" and got rid of most of my possessions, so I didn’t really bring that much.
What are your work habits?
I’ll try to do work, but get really distracted and talk to other people. And then when everyone goes to sleep, I work from midnight to three-- productive insomnia. It works because I don’t have class before 11.
How would you describe yourself?
I’m a person, 19 years old, I’m a pretty jovial, lighthearted, and aloof. I just kind of wander a lot. It’s hard to define yourself.
Favorite place in Middletown?
Krust is my favorite restaurant. I also really like the antique shop. Antique shops reflect what who I am; I wander around and like to look at stuff.
Dicks for nipples or nipples for dicks?
How big are the dicks? Standard size. Would I be horny if I had nipples? Your sexual desires wouldn’t be different than what they are now. Would I get nipple boners? You’re asking really good questions here-- you should be a politician. Then I’d probably be nipples for dicks.
I was 16 years old. It was in Peru on the amazon river. I was living on a boat. It was with this girl Page from Massachusetts. She was my boat wife, I went to the jungle and made her a wood ring.
Favorite Disney movie?
Ratatouille. I’m a really big fan.
Any upcoming projects?
I’m gonna get this Malaysian dude to teach me piano. I'm also into stream-of-consciousness writing. I write on postcards. I need to start doing this again.
Can you give us a few excerpts?
“In my periphery, I thought I saw two people hugging but I looked over and realized it was one dude. #Obesity” “Addicted to AA meetings.”
Describe the color yellow as you would to a blind person.
Well, you know, yellow is very light, very euphoric, hopeful, sun-shiny, either really beautiful or pukey, depending on your mood.