WORDS BY SOPHIA JENNINGS ('16), CREATIVE DIRECTOR
CARTOON BY RUBY LANG ('17), STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER
On the first night of freshman year an old friend of my sister's invited me over to drink beer and watch Robyn videos. It was there that I fell in love with two things: liberal arts college and @jarsilver or Amanda Hugandkiss*. Two years later, the Method Editorial Board is happy to award the 2013 grad with "Best Alumni Twitter Account of the Year." While some might say Lena Dunham is the voice of Brooklyn's postgrads, we prefer @jarsilver.
In celebration we spent last Sunday in bed, together. Skyping from our respective fetal positions. For what was meant to be 30 minutes but lasted over 2 hrs. Mainly because we both had the Sunday blues. But also because he spent 10 minutes dancing to Ariana Grande remixes. Regardless, here is my attempt at giving the @jarsilver the Proust interview. Read it and tweet.
*The subject asked to have his legal name removed. For so many good reasons.
Where are you these days @Jarsilver? I live in Brooklyn
Why? Good question. I really wanted to live somewhere where you are surrounded by people who are either exactly like you or hate you and where living there means that you can’t afford to do anything. That was really what I looked for.
What is your job? It’s pretty dumb. I work for a job search website. And I like… I’m getting bored just trying to think of how to explain it.
Who’s your best friend at work? “Best friend.” Chuckles. There was this guy who worked in the office and when I started working he had a really dumb looking goatee and then he shaved it into a mustache that was extremely on point. And he was really hot. And then he shaved the mustache and I was really sad. And then the company he worked for moved to another building. It was really really sad. I said maybe 2 sentences to him in the 8 months that we worked next to each other. He’s really good looking.
What’d you do today? I went on a walk to see how the gentrification of the neighborhood is doing and I got a bagel with cream cheese and a macchiato. And they gave me a cup of seltzer with my macchiato. But then I was like, “Oh shit, I just stole someone's seltzer,” so I asked them why they gave me seltzer, and they were like, “No, it’s for you.” Is that a thing? Serving seltzer with macchiatos?
Looks up serving seltzer with macchiatos.
What is your current state of mind? I don’t know. A little blurred. Slightly hungover but not really.
What’d you do last night? I spent a lot of money on alcohol.
Did you have fun? I was at a place where people were dancing and a girl talked to me and I was like, "Why are you talking to me." Like, I don’t recognize friendliness. I’m very skeptical of it.
Who was she? I dunno, some girl.
Where were you? At a bar in BedStuy.
Do you like Bed Stuy? It’s aight.
Ok, what’s your idea of perfect happiness? I don’t have one. I don’t believe in happiness. Happiness is a way of keeping us shackled to things that will never come.
What’s the place you say you’re going to move to? Montreal. But its too cold. I used to fantasize about moving to Prague. I’ve never been to Prague.
What’s your favorite slang word? Turnt.
What celebrity do you think you look like? Drake.
What is your greatest fear? Oh. Jeeze. I don’t really fear worldly things. I think its more likely than not that humanity will not exist in the future. Like, I wouldn’t be surprised if there was some nuclear holocaust or if we all die from global warming. I’m more afraid of like existential things.
Starts bouncing Nosey
This is Nosey. I’ve had him for a long time.
Which historical figure do you most identify with? Nietzsche. Boris Yieltzen. Don’t put that. That’s not even the Russian leader I identify with most.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? Laziness.
What is the trait you most deplore in others? Ambition.
What is it that you most dislike? Anything.
What is your greatest extravagance? I like soft things. Everything in my bed is very soft.
What is your most treasured possession? (Pauses)
Your heart? No, fuck that. It was my bike but it got stolen. So that’s about where my life is right now.
On what occasion do you lie? Often. I lie a lot. When the truth is less interesting.
What or who is the greatest love of your life? The internet.
When and where were you happiest? Probably like, in the uterus.
What apps do you like? Not Grindr.
Why not Grindr? Um. It appeals to the worst in everyone.
Is Tinder as big as it seems? It’s really big. Once I graduated everyone started doing online dating at the same time. But I don’t date. The funny thing about Tinder moments is that since the app started really recently we haven’t developed a set of norms around it. Some people just do selfies, other people do inside jokes which is like, this is for people you haven’t met. And then some people put sexual things. Like I don’t need to see pictures of your dick.
Jesse shows me a Tinder moment of a dude eating a pickle
What is your favorite occupation? Thought leader.
What’s that mean? I don’t know.
Are you googling it right now? It’s a business buzzword.
What is your most marked characteristic? Physically my hair color. Personality wise I talk to myself a lot. and I mumble.
What is your motto? Live without dead time.
What’s that mean? Who knows.
What are you asking for for Christmas? I don’t celebrate Christmas. Thanks for your consideration. I need to get a new bike.
In a year where do you want to be? Not here. That’s not true. Here physically but also somewhere else in the nonphysical sense. Somewhere else metaphysically.
What show have you watched recently? I’m trying to get into Gilmore Girls. But it’s kinda annoying. No one talks like that. I like snappy fun dialogue when its a show about like, the White House, or like, detectives who investigate aliens. But not when it’s like a girl and her mom who live in the suburbs. I think it’s gonna get better but it’s not the best show I’ve ever seen.
Which character do you identify with? Rory.
Why? Cause like, who else are you going to connect with. She’s like, smart and awkward. But I would never wanna go to Harvard. Am I right (high fives himself)
How do you feel about Dean? Seems like a TV writer’s idea of what a cute teenage boy is like.
Was that you? No. But I did want to work at a grocery store.
What reality TV show do you belong on? Broad City. I feel like I’m friends with them. They’re like my ideal friends.
Biggest Regrets of your Liberal Arts Career?
Not going to the pool until senior year
Not applying to DKE
Not forming a goth band
Not running for WSA President
Best thing you did at Wesleyan? Wrote an email to Dean Rick saying that his actions were arbitrary and capricious.
Why? Eclectic got on a hosting ban my senior year and I had a show that was going to be there, and then I couldn’t have it there and nobody told me. I told him I didn’t accept his apology. That’s one thing I learned in college: be less conciliatory. You should ask your professors how much money they make, like, ask them to justify it.
What’s your favorite Wesleyan sport team? Uh… girls softball? I wish I were friends with the men’s hockey team.
Worst class you took at Wesleyan? There was a class I took in Paris when I was on the Vassar Wesleyan program where we just went around Paris and talked about the history of these places around the city or references to them in literature. And I was like…why are we doing this. It was called "Lieux de Mémoire"
What? "Lieux de Mémoire"
What? "Lieux de Mémoire"
Can you fbchat me that? "Lieux de Mémoire"
If you could sleep with one person in the world? Drake. I mean it goes without saying like, if he’s in to it. Not like, I’m dictator of the planet and I order Drake to have sex with me.
What do you spend the most money on? Besides rent? Probably alcohol. Which is kinda sad because I don’t really like drinking. But bars are expensive. And I don’t like to be there sober.
Starts playing Break Free remix and singing along with Nosey.
If you were a drink at Pi what would you be? Definitely a salty ivan. Chai is bullshit. It isn’t an actual tea. I was working at a cafe one summer and soy chai lattes are especially bullshit. I wasn’t actually the barista I was scooping ice-cream but nonetheless. Soy chai lattes are bullshit.
What are you doing tonight? I’m going to the Wet Leather EP release show. and I’ll maybe fold my laundry. You know when you do your laundry and it’s not really dry? That’s the worst. Cause I’m not gonna like spend another $1.50 to make it drier. And I’m out of quarters. So I have a pile of wet underwear. It’s very sad.
What are you looking forward to this week? Let’s see what’s on my calendar. I hear it’s going to be cold. I’m really looking forward to honoring our nation’s veterans. It’s Veterans Day on Tuesday.
What are you going to do? I’m not gonna do anything. But I’ll think about it.